So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
