There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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