Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
