I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
