Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
foreskin is a definite game changer
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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