At least make sure they are 18
Why
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
