Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry bigbeezey hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(716): View more from New York

fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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(323): View more from California

Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.

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(365): View more from

I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.

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(858): View more from California

Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.

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(404): View more from Georgia

She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.

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(631): View more from New York

We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa

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