it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
