naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
