Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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