Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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