Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Shame - the story of my life.
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