At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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