Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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