Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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