is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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