somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
