well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
