its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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