I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My bed smells like the plague
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
