just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
