Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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