oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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