I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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