Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
