I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
