Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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