I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize