didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
