Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
