I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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