Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
