she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
