They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
