Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
