its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
