I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
