I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
