WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
