I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
