You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
