ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
