ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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