I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
