I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
