so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
