i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
