So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
