tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
