elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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