Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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