Where are you?
In a non slutty way
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
