Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
