Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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