Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
