I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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