a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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