Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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