dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
