Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
